This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” May 11, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MICHELLE OBAMA, FORMER FIRST LADY OF THE UNITED STATES: Let me tell you it helps to have our President Joe Biden in office because, you know, when you have a responsible mature president in office, it’s — it makes it even easier for us.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: What a dig at her husband. Yes, so whatever happened to Sarah Silverman? Seriously, what happened to her? She used to be the fun comedian with the potty mouth who wore pigtails in her college boyfriends football jersey until she was in her 40s. Now she’s a middle- aged political activist who earnestly transplants the world of competitive sports to evolve people the world’s greatest trans athlete in history, Caitlyn Jenner.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SARAH SILVERMAN, AMERICAN STAND-UP COMEDIAN: Caitlyn, you’re a woman, right? A trans girl is a girl. She should have the same rights as sis girls. What you think a trans girl is too strong? I — what about tall girls as opposed to short girls? What about boys in high school who are teeny tiny and their teammates are — have already hit puberty and are shaving Why don’t you just have co-ed sports divided by weight or height, you know. This is so dumb, it does not concern for girls sports. It’s transphobia full stop.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Did she just say full stop? Someone’s been to London. Find the gap love. Watch out for that Laurie. A worldly, full stop sounds like the state of her career. Anyway, that was mean. She slams — so she slams a trans person, Caitlyn Jenner then accuses that trans person Caitlyn Jenner of hurting trans people. How arrogant do you have to be to think you know more than Caitlyn Jenner about trans issues and competitive sports.
That’s like arguing with Brian Stelter about what it’s like inside the Cheesecake Factory. Or maybe that’s like me arguing with Sarah about wearing blackface? Yes, Sarah appeared in blackface on her short lived Comedy Central show. That seems kind of racist to me. Full stop. Boy, was her face red when these photos reappeared? I mean under the blackface. I bet that pretty much killed that endorsement deal Sarah was working on with Maybelline.
And yet she’s doing OK. Much like you know who. Yes, T.V.’s Jimmy camel. What a coincidence. So you see the scam? It’s as plain as the nose on someone’s blackened face. Or it is written if you were racist in your past simply embrace the most destructive brainwashing ideology in all the land and that she’ll give you immunity against the mob. It’s like a vaccine for a-holes. See, Kimmel also called Caitlyn Jenner names, that might be considered transphobic except of course that Jenner is a Republican and Kimmel is not.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JIMMY KIMMEL, TELEVISION HOST: Is it transphobic to call a trans person an ignorant a-hole? I mean, or does calling that trans person and ignorant a- hole even though she happens to be a trans person show that we don’t discriminate against ignorant a-holes, no matter what their gender orientation. It’s a tough one. I don’t know. I guess we’ll let the internet decide tomorrow.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, Silverman realizes that the only way she can paint over her pass is the same way Kimmel does. It’s why Jimmy co-creator of The Man Show is now the self-appointed ambassador of wokeness. Do you remember The Man Show? The end credits used to roll over video of girls in bikinis jumping on trampolines. That’s about as woke as well rolling and credits over video of girls and bikinis jumping on trampolines. I consider it art.
Both Silverman and Kimmel share the original sin of blackface and now both employee wokeism as a Kevlar vest to protect themselves from other celebrities friendly fire, to get out of jail free card for your unwed pass as you project your past sins on someone else that is key. Did you know that Silverman and Kimmel dated? I guess the blackface paint rubbed off on each other. But what is sorry state the left is in when your outspoken leaders are only in it for the protection.
It really is a protection racket. I wonder what are angry white male has to say about this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, just out for a walk. I love it the day after it rains, don’t you? You know, I noticed a sign on somebody’s lawn a few blocks back and said, hate has no home here. I thought to myself, well, that’s good. Nobody wants a home with hate, right? Then I started thinking, what makes them think they have to put a sign out there? Hate has no home. Do they think that there are other homes in the area that have hate? What about my home?
Do they think I should put a sign on my lawn saying hate has no home? Because I’m not going to do that. I don’t like hate but not really into science. Anyway, hope everyone’s having a good day.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I begged him to get help. Please write about those signs. Those sides are so effing stupid. That is wokeism is just a way for people in companies to cover their non-woke asses. Look at Disney. Now the Epcot Center of corporate wokeism. Is it because they truly care or is it because it’s easier to wave your woke human resource training manual while ignoring human rights violations from your benefactors in Communist China? The CIA is getting great at this as well. Check out their new ads.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Growing up gay in a small southern town. I was lucky to have a wonderful unaccepting family. I always struggled with the idea that I might not be able to discuss my personal life at work. Imagine my surprise when I was taking my oath at CIA and I noticed a rainbow on then Director Brendan’s lanyard. Inclusion is a core value here. Officers from the top down work hard to ensure that every single person, whatever their gender, gender identity, race, disability, or sexual orientation can bring their entire self to work every day.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So it’s more inclusion less killing. So the CIA is known for secret wars, spying on Americans waterboarding, sleep, sleep deprivation, forcing people to watch the view. They’ve done it all. And yet, they’re applauded now for being more inclusive. You see this? Hurray. I’ve always wanted to be waterboarded by someone with a coexist bumper sticker. But it’s a racket. You can get away with anything from blackface to getmo if you guzzle the woke aid through a beer bog.
Of course it changes you. You aren’t who you are anymore. I can’t take the CIA seriously anymore. They’re supposed to be killers. But maybe Sarah could regain her edge again, perhaps go back to that time when she was dating Al Jolson. But the problem with going full woke is how do you go back? You can’t. The woke face may erase the past blackface but then you realize it’s permanent. It’s like joining the Manson family or going to work at CNN.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. Her camera is busier than the one in my guest bedroom. Director and producer of the documentary, The plot Against the President, Amanda Milius. He’s my third favorite Corey after Feldman and hearts. American Federation for Children, national director of research, Corey DeAngelis. He’s a cross between a used car salesman and a creepier used car salesman. Fox News radio host Jimmy Failla.
And her marriage is like the milk in my fridge. Only a week old and already going sour. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. So, Amanda, I want to talk to you about this. But I was also thinking about your last name. Your dad, John Milius.
AMANDA MILIUS, DIRECTOR AND PRODUCER THE PLOT AGAINST THE PRESIDENT: Yes.
GUTFELD: What movies did he produce direct?
MILIUS: Conan the Barbarian, Red Dawn, he wrote Apocalypse Now. And he wrote Dirty Harry. And just a couple other very — like feminine movies.
GUTFELD: This is — so, I’m thinking about Red Dawn and I’m thinking about Dirty Harry and I’m thinking about how these things could not be made now. Correct?
MILIUS: Oh, totally. No. I mean, even after Red Dawn Hollywood was freaked out by him. I mean, he was basically kind of blacklisted at that point just for being tough on, you know, I think being too anti Russia which is hilarious now that I made the Russiagate hoax movie.
MILIUS: A little while. But yes, no, he would never have been able — he’d never have movies like that anymore about men.
MILIUS: Straight white men that are characters of any kind. I mean, no personality is allowed. It would — yes —
GUTFELD: Yes. You can’t be rough around the edges to the point about this – – my monologue is that I think this goes as predicted. We knew that the moment that Caitlyn Jenner who’s essentially a boring country club Republican, right? Who happens to be trans.
MILIUS: Yes. I mean, not even like an edgy one.
GUTFELD: Yes. Not an edgy one. But yet we knew that liberals were going to attack her immediately.
MILIUS: Yes, because it just shows the hypocrisy. I mean, like you said in your monologue, I mean, it’s really just to cover up for their own sins. It’s totally disingenuous. They don’t — they don’t mean it at all. It’s total hypocrisy which is why though I think the right should not latch on to it and not try to repeat it and not think that this is some way into acceptance.
MILIUS: So much so that I don’t really know that Caitlyn Jenner brings all that much conservatism to California.
GUTFELD: She’s not — she’s not right wing enough for you.
MILIUS: Not at all.
GUTFELD: No, no, no.
MILIUS: I mean, the — yes, I mean —
GUTFELD: Yes. There’s — there might be some other — the — if Rick Grenell steps in, that’s a really interest interesting —
MILIUS: That would be — Rick has proven himself in the Trump administration ends in his points of view. I mean, he has actual policy ideas, whereas like, Caitlyn Jenner, I know nothing — I mean, all of a sudden, it literally comes out of the closet.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: It’s like a lot of seasons of keeping up with the Kardashians.
MILIUS: But I mean, about the — about clothes and like going places and getting —
TIMPF: It’s about — it’s about — it’s about family.
MILIUS: — very pro-family. That is true.
TIMPF: The show about —
GUTFELD: You know, Corey, I actually didn’t mind the solution that Sarah Silverman was bringing up. She was saying like, just make all sports coed and go by weight and height, which would be really hilarious but it’s possible. What bugged me is that I don’t think — I don’t think Caitlyn Jenner is the right person to talk down about this. A — an athlete who is trans and it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter to Silverman.
COREY DEANGELIS, NATIONAL DIRECTOR OF RESEARCH, AMERICAN FEDERATION FOR CHILDREN: Yes, absolutely. And look, we already do divide up different sports by weights for MMA, for wrestling and other sports as well. But yes, it’s just struck me as tone death for Silverman to come out after Caitlyn Jenner on this particular topic.
GUTFELD: Yes. Do you have a solution for this? Like how would you solve the trans athlete problem that we’re currently facing in women’s sports?
DEANGELIS: I will say with Republicans about 73 percent support banning transgender sports at the high school level and up. If you look at a recent poll by Politico and Morning Consult, but there I don’t think there is a perfect solution as the famous Thomas Sowell once famously said there are no solutions only tradeoffs and — but I think what a step in the right direction would be to allow every individual family to take their children’s education dollars to the school of their choice which then you could have different leagues and different rules of participating in different sports.
So you could have — you could you can get away from this one size fits all system that we have in the current education system. So one set of rules isn’t going to work for everybody.
GUTFELD: I’ve said this before, Jimmy, all sports are stupid. We’re only exists for one person who’s good at the sport in an entire town.
JIMMY FAILLA, FOX NEWS RADIO HOST: Yes.
GUTFELD: The entire town and Little League is just for one player to make it pro, it’s fascism I tell you. So why not — why not — why not knock down all the barriers and just have men women, trans, you name it, all play?
FAILLA: Picture it this way to put it in movie terms. Imagine they remade Rocky three. And now under your guidelines, Mr. T gets to change his name to Mrs. T and fight Adrian.
FAILLA: My money as a gambling man is — I hate to say it, I’m not being woman phobic or transphobic. But I’m going with Mrs. K.
FAILLA: I’m taking the under 30 seconds. I like Mr. T — Mrs. T to win during the national anthem.
MILIUS: (INAUDIBLE) is very tough. She’s a very tough lady. I know her.
FAILLA: She’s got spunk.
MILIUS: She’s Italian.
FAILLA: But your father’s era of moviemaking is what we’re missing. Like we did grow up with some rugged sense of self. We had Dirty Harry. Now we have emasculated Prince Harry, he’s not even allowed to open his mouth. But the reason they hate her so much is she’s not letting her identity define her. She’s trying to run on policies as opposed to what they did when she transitioned.
If you remember we were all on T.V. when she transitioned.
FAILLA: I was on Kennedy the day — she was on the Vanity Fair cover. And I said she looks gorgeous because the first person to say she doesn’t is getting destroyed.
FAILLA: How is it? My dad is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. And they hate the fact that she’s not leading with that identity and trying to weaponize it.
GUTFELD: We need to do a dirty a woke version of Dirty Harry. Like —
MILIUS: You’re on.
GUTFELD: — just misgendered me? You dead named me? What did you say, punk? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say punk.
TIMPF: — by what Kimmel because he said a-hole. Like just say (BLEEP)
FAILLA: Just own it. Thank you. Thank you. But you make a good point. Right? Greg makes a really good point about them is that a lot of this is a projection exercise.
GUTFELD: Right. It is.
FAILLA: So they don’t get held accountable for what they did. And everyone knows this, in society, it’s timeless. Whoever is, you know, he who doth protest the most. The guy who’s like, oh, the gays are going to burn in hell. That’s the guy that gets caught in (INAUDIBLE) hours later.
GUTFELD: You know, Kat is good at projecting.
TIMPF: No, I think I pretty much kind of lay it all out there. I got to call myself out. But yes, I mean, it also like the pot — the whole like solo podcast too.
TIMPF: Like she didn’t have to do any of that. It was like she was there with a guest who was like, OK, you need to make an impassioned statement about, you know, trans people in sports. She was like, I got my microphone. I got myself, I need to wake up and do this. Why? Like who is saying we need to hear from Sarah Silverman on this? You don’t. You need to hear from me either. I don’t — I’m not like the American voice for trans issues and even less so sports.
FAILLA: One great point by Kat. Social media needs a button called who asked you?
FAILLA: Do you understand?
GUTFELD: Oh, that’s a good one. And then when you press it, it sends an electrical shock. And the first. Yes. All right. I wanted to make a really important point. But we’re out of time, right? All right, up next. I feel like kind of sad because this was somewhat like, we have forgotten the probe — the proportionality of a problem. So if one person doesn’t get fit — doesn’t fit into something, we have to change everything.
That’s not how it works. I don’t even know what that means. Up next. A teacher who had a slip of the tongue while teaching our young.
GUTFELD: Is our education an abomination? Let’s tackle it in a new segment I’m calling.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Evil-edge.
GUTFELD: I don’t know why. It came to me when I was last night in the middle of the night, that evil-ed. She couldn’t wait to get a room so she did it right on Zoom. I speak of New York City High School Spanish teacher caught sucking a topless man’s nipple during a Zoom class. I never thought I would ever say that as a sentence. Though it is nice to hear that Jeffrey Toobin is working again.
Who knew he could speak Spanish? So several students have recorded the video. Investigators say while performing the act, the woman rocked her head back and forth and gyrated her shoulders and smiled. Then she resumed teaching. Good for her. I guess she really sucked at Spanish, am I right? Since then, I feel dirty. Since then she’s been reassigned, but it’s still on the city’s payroll making 105 grand a year.
That’s like three cats. But maybe she confused your Spanish class with nursing, who knows? It’s no wonder parents have had enough of remote learning. During the pandemic, more families have looked to switch their kids from public to private school. That’s partially because private schools have shown more flexibility when it comes to reopening. Thanks to larger campuses and smaller classes.
One survey found 41 percent of parents are more likely to prefer a private education for their kids post pandemic. And I get that. My son has been taking private choir lessons. Let’s take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Stupid kid. Corey, you’re in education or so you claim. This Zoom call seems to be the kind of thing that happens when you are allowed at no competition at education?
DEANGELIS: Well, it’s totally crazy. I mean, in the last time that something like this happened that the New York Post reported on, we didn’t know whether the teacher was, you know, actually meant to do it what they were doing in the last case, they’re like, well, I didn’t know I was still being recorded. I thought the class was over. This one I didn’t really get a sense of what was going on.
DEANGELIS: But what’s interesting — but what’s interesting here is that for all the bad that’s happened over the past year with remote learning children losing ground academically, mentally, physically, socially, so much harm happening to children over the past year. One of the silver linings is that people have started to figure out what’s going on in the classroom.
DEANGELIS: So it could be this kind of thing that we’re seeing in the Zoom classroom, as reported by the New York Post or it could just be inadequate education going on or political indoctrination happening. So the way that I’ve put it before is that COVID-19 didn’t break the public school system. In a lot of ways, it was already broken. And the past year has simply shined a spotlight on the main problem with K through 12 education in America, which happens to be a massive, long-existing power imbalance between the public school monopoly and individual families.
And now families are thankfully fighting back and they’re seeking options like school choice in over 30 states that are bills that have been introduced —
GUTFELD: So these bills are for funding students, not schools. That passes — is that — is this going to happen in our lifetime?
DEANGELIS: Well, the way we look at the legislation happening all across the country right now, at least 11 states have already passed these bills in — through their legislatures, including Florida, West Virginia, Kentucky, Indiana and another states as well. And if you look at the three nationwide polls on this — on this topic by morning console, real clear Opinion Research, polling and Harvard University actually did one as well.
Finding that over the past couple of years support for funding students as opposed to systems has skyrocketed and it’s probably because the public school teachers unions have overplayed their hand. And in a lot of ways, they’ve done more to advance the concept of school choice than anyone could have ever imagined in the past year.
GUTFELD: You know, Jimmy, what worries me is if we do have more school choice, we’ll have fewer stories about nipple incident on Zoom. And then our show suffers.
FRANK: I want to jump in and defend this teacher for a sec.
FRANK: Because in her defense, under common core you have to show your work. Oh. I mean, how did we arrive at this conclusion? No. To your point, public schools are a disaster. My only concern with the, you know, migration over the private schools is we’re like five years away of talking about like student loan forgiveness for kindergarteners. And I’m not ready for that yet.
FRANK: She took on a lot of debt to go here and play on the swings.
FRANK: And I’m not happy. But it’s embarrassing. And they, you know, there shouldn’t be more accountability for teachers. Did you have a point? I’m sorry, you raised your hand.
DEANGELIS: I was just going to say we already spend the money in the K through 12 public school system and the United States, we spend over $15,000 per child per year. We don’t need it kids going into debt if we could just take the money that’s already existing in the system. Heck, give me two-thirds of that and let me find a private school to pay for tuition and fees. And let’s be real over the past year, this whole reopening debate hasn’t been about what the most advantage families should have because they access pandemic (INAUDIBLE) right away.
TIMPF: The people at the top could not be more dumb. And this article prove that to me again. It’s like the special commissioner of investigations for the city — the schools in the city said well, this is why we need to beef up our training for teachers and how to teach on Zoom by Department of Education. Absolutely not. The lesson here is that we don’t need to hike taxes to add a course on don’t lick nipples in front of the kids.
GUTFELD: I wish I’ve seen that.
TIMPF: Absolutely not.
GUTFELD: Last word to you, Amanda.
MILIUS: I thought the most disturbing part of that story that I was surprising of you guys brought up is the fact they talked about how after she did the nipple thing she was eating spaghetti.
MILIUS: And I was like, why that detail? I didn’t need that because then it merges in your brain. Anyways, but no, I mean —
TIMPF: Let’s all look at that.
MILIUS: You know what I’m saying? I mean, if you’re going to be —
GUTFELD: Build up an appetite.
GUTFELD: Nipple licking then it’s the pasta.
MILIUS: Yes. But the instructions about like how they need to — they’re going to train the teachers not to do that. They have to be told. You have to be told not to do that. It was just incredibly bizarre. Yes.
GUTFELD: All right. We got a roll. Will Trump’s attention cause a horse intervention?
GUTFELD: A horse with spiked oats, made Donald Trump gloat. That rhymed in the rehearsal, it doesn’t rhyme now. So, what happens when your winner is saddled and drug-addled? That was better. Donald Trump calls you on it. 2021 Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit, failed the drug test then got called a junkie by Donald Trump.
In a post in his geo city’s Web page, the former president said, the horse was emblematic of what is happening to our country comparing the steroids stallion to the border crisis and 2020, the 2020 election. He also called Kat’s recent marriage a disgrace to the vows. Trump always nails it. I miss his tweets. It’s the second time trainer, Bob Baffert, had a horse popped for the same drug. After the race, Medina Spirit peed hot for the drug beta methazone, and also forgot where it left its laptop full of pornography.
Jimmy I love the name junkie horse.
JIMMY FAILLA, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Oh, it’s so wonderful.
GUTFELD: It’s great. It’s like a song by Patti Smith.
FAILLA: You know what I’m thinking of? I’m thinking of that, I think it was a Spielberg movie, “Warhorse.”
FAILLA: We do a remake, where it’s just a horse just shooting up in an alley.
FAILLA: Because I love that he makes it sound like this was the horse’s choice.
GUTFELD: I needed, I need some — during the race, can we stop over there? I got it.
FAILLA: It’s the beauty of Trump because he’s always able to divorce it from reality like an inch, and it’s hilarious.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
FAILLA: And of course, the story hits home for me as someone who has paid and not paid his rent because of horse racing over the course of like 20 years. Like I am honestly, I am of the mind that the horse I bet in the Kentucky Derby was on a drug but it was weed. I bet highly motivated. And it basically, I bet it to win place or glue factory because it ran nowhere.
And now I’m so mad because this junky horse did run its face off and beat everybody and I lost money.
GUTFELD: Couldn’t feel its face by the way.
FAILLA: No idea. Junkie horse. It was great. I know. It’s like Mr. Ed, but now it’s Mr. Barry Bonds. He’s just jumping out. But I love Trump for this. But I don’t think when it comes to drugging horses for racing, they have a lot of precautions because horses get hurt and die ready. So, I’m trying to be mindful of what’s good for the horse. So, I don’t really want them drugging horses, but I’m all for them drugging a horse. I bet because I got to make this money. You know what I’m saying?
GUTFELD: You know, Kat. Can we agree that if you take any sport, drugs will make it better? Right?
TIMPF: I don’t think that’s the sports.
GUTFELD: No, but I mean, they’re called performance enhancement drugs for a reason people get better. Why can’t we just lift the ban on everything? And it’s going back to the A-block story. Why, like if you want to have men and women trans, anybody performed against each other, you’re going to have to lift the bans because that’s what happens.
TIMPF: Well, because if they give all the drugs to the horse, there’s less for me. Kidding. Look, I, yes, I need the junky horse, it was very funny because I honestly saw this all over Twitter, right, which, you know, Trump’s been banned from but he’s still right there. And I saw a very honest like, amazing tweet, actually, from a writer of the Seth Meyers show. He shared the statement. He was like, we have to, I know we’re supposed to be amplifying this stuff, but we have to admit, this is funny. It’s so funny for a former president to release an official statement to call a horse a junkie.
GUTFELD: Loved it.
TIMPF: It’s a hilarious thing and of course people are like, that’s not funny — no, but it’s funny.
FAILLA: It’s hilarious.
TIMPF: It’s just — it is.
FAILLA: And poor Biden probably thinks the horse really shot up.
TIMPF: Yes, Biden’s like, Biden’s going to like have, like a task force.
FAILLA: They’re trying to find out what the horse was on so they can pep Biden up for the next press conference. You don’t give me some of those horse drugs.
GUTFELD: Man, is it hard to get a racehorse like into a 12 step program? They should think about that before they put them on junk.
AMANDA MILIUS, DIRECTOR AND PRODUCER: I don’t know how to put a racehorse in a 12-step program but, I don’t think you come to me on that. But no, I mean, the thing that’s really kind of awkward about this is that they’re saying like, oh, the horses can’t be drugged, they can’t have any alterations to their natural system. And then we’re talking about the transgender athletes and sports. At what point are they going to — is there going to, there’s going to come a point where the argument crashes into itself. And it’s like, well, what is what’s drugging and what’s not? I mean, if it requires drugs for these male athletes to transition into female athletes, they are on drugs to compete in the sports?
GUTFELD: You are now about to get cancelled like I am because we’re comparing animal sports to trans-sports. No, we’re not we’re talking about the implementation of drugs, which I believe should be available to everybody. Corey, what do you make of this?
COREY DEANGELIS, AMERICA FEDERATION FOR CHILDREN: Well, yes, I mean it’s true if you look at other sports as well, you have like the MMA fighters that weigh in at 155, to train at 170. But they all do it because they know the other person’s doing it. And so, in order for the other than not to be at a disadvantage, they will train that way. And same thing with, you know, bodybuilders and steroids, they do the same kind of thing. It’s, it’s so that you’re not put at a disadvantage, even if you wouldn’t have wanted to take the drug yourself. But if you don’t want to be at a disadvantage compared to the others, it incentivizes everybody to take to take the work. Yes,
GUTFELD: It’s the war — what do you call it? It’s the war, what do you call it? It’s an arms race?
TIMPF: It’s a war. Weapon or Battleship.
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. All right. Enough from you, lady. Up next, we discuss Elon Musk’s new invention, a funny episode of SNL.
GUTFELD: You cannot joke unless you’re truly woke. On a recent episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience,” guests Dave Chappelle and Rogan discuss the Saturday Night Live cast, and they’re whining over hosts Elon Musk. Apparently, SNL cast members were furious, because Musk was the only person on that show that anyone has ever heard of. I’ve never heard of any of these coast — these so called stars, the SNL cast has become like a televised witness protection program.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE ROGAN, COMEDIAN: No one is woken up. They, they don’t, they can’t appreciate the fact that you’re dealing with literally one of the most brilliant mind that’s ever lived. Who’s going to come to your show?
DAVE CHAPPELLE, COMEDIAN: You know, I can be woke enough. You know, I’m torn because I like a warrior for a good cause. But I’m really in the tactics. You’re not going to nag people into behaving.
CHAPPELLE: In a way that’s, you know, in fact, if, if you continue with this tone, even if you’re right, you’ll be very hard to hear.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: His voice is oddly therapeutic. Now, that was recorded before Musk hosted SNL. But not only did he get decent reviews when he did. It turns out, he killed just like what he’s planning to do to those astronauts on their one way mission to Mars. Musk gave him a huge ratings boost not only in total viewers, but in the key middle aged white guys who still live with their mom’s demo. Good for them, I say next, they should have New York Governor Andrew Cuomo host. He could start the show by saying dead from New York, it’s 19,000 old people. Terrible. Kat, you’ve heard of SNL, right? It’s on Saturdays.
TIMPF: Yes, at night.
GUTFELD: Yes. Do you think people were really that upset about Elon Musk? Or was that just a story that I plucked from Twitter and then amplified it falsely?
TIMPF: Some people were actually mad, which is the craziest thing about it. And it is impossible to ever be sufficiently woke because it demand — you know, you can never have ever hurt the feelings of anyone, even if they’re a stranger, and even if you were joking, so demands perfection and humans are imperfect. So, never going to be possible.
GUTFELD: Exactly. Exactly. You know, Amanda, My belief is that the reason why Elon Musk is was so good on SNL is unlike most of those cast members, he’s lived a life. It’s like a lot of these young people think they know (BLEEP), actually, they’re just like, they just read the same crap.
MILIUS: No, I mean, it’s the same thing we’re talking about earlier, where he’s a character like he actually has a personality. They’ve gotten to the point where I mean, I don’t know how these entertainers are going to entertain when anything outside of like a blank piece of paper is considered offensive.
MILIUS: I mean, it’s just they’re going to run into that at some point.
GUTFELD: Yes. And it’s, it’s, it’s almost like they’re get woke ism is trying to get rid of the human being that doesn’t fit anywhere. It’s the weirdest thing. To me, Corey. It seems like the people that are truly woke are like the cool kids deciding that it’s time to get rid of everybody else.
DEANGELIS: I really enjoyed his opening monologue. I thought it was funny. And the Italian in me appreciated the Oreo skit.
MILIUS: That was so odd. I thought it was good.
GUTFELD: Did you see that Dick Grimes was — made a little cameo in the show? You know, I moved past that.
TIMPF: I don’t think you have.
GUTFELD: Let’s talk about her. I’m sorry, I brought it up. Jimmy, what are your thoughts on every — what are your thoughts on comedy in general and how woke has woke has infiltrated how it’s affected it?
FAILLA: I’ll tell you why real two things. First of all, the old SNL cast is so devastated by the actions of this cast is so devastated by the action of this cast. They would never shun someone who smokes as much weed is Elon Musk. Think about the amount of cocaine money a guy worth $182 billion could have gave my man John Belushi back in the day, he would have been a hero. But what happened is woke-ism has forced comics to take themselves too seriously.
And every comic watching, most of you hate watching because we’re on Fox right now, need to understand we’re liquor pimps that’s what we do for a living. We get on a stage in front of 300 strangers and make them laugh so someone can sell liquor. That’s the vast majority of our job description is an hour of pimping liquor, 23 hours of watching dirty movies in a La Quinta, if you’re lucky, if you’re lucky. If your career is going good and you’re getting La Quinta, which is a nice hotel.
I mean, as a comic making your bones before I got here to Fox you know, I’m playing in the kind of hotels where you can see the dimples in the door from where the state troopers battery rammed down the night before. And comics got to this place where it’s, it’s become more important to placate a community that doesn’t care about you anyway, than to own your position as a comic. Like, our job as a comic is to point out the truth in everything in society. It’s not to take a side because taking a side will oftentimes deny you a basic truth.
GUTFELD: And you know, what’s happening to that, to comedians, is that they are they’re not embracing a topic that would be perfect for them which is woke-ism, and they can’t even do that.
FAILLA: No, you can make fun of it all day because this is who you —
GUTFELD: Look at this show. This whole show is predicated on canceling and woke-ism. And it’s like think big because no one else would.
FAILLA: Yes, no, that’s the whole hook and like people don’t get it as like we’re abandoning and fighting this battle on grounds that aren’t favorable to us. Your advantage is to point out the ridiculousness. When you have to defend the ridiculousness, you become the joke. And that’s the sad state of comedy right now is there’s no like, you know, previous generation of comics that really respects what’s going on now. And even Chappelle, Chappelle if you watch him. It’s like, if you’ve ever watched the snake charmer, try not to come out of the vase. Chappelle wants to be a Republican.
GUTFELD: It’s trying to stay in buzz so hard. All right, up next, Coldplay is having a bad day.
GUTFELD: He missed being famous but still acts like an anus. There is a good rhyme. As if half a million worldwide COVID-19 deaths wasn’t bad enough. Now, Chris Martin is having an identity crisis. In a recent interview, Coldplay frontman, never heard of him, Chris Martin said the past year of COVID lockdowns has caused him to reflect on fame. It must’ve been soul shattering.
Imagine being locked down and having to listen to Coldplay. Sure the pandemic claimed millions of lives, destroyed economies, and made us prisoners in our own homes, but worst of all it gave Chris Martin the sads. And perhaps the most out of touch statement made by someone not tripping on acid, Martin said, “I was like who am I without Wembley Stadium, saying you’re awesome? I’m trying in my life right now. It’s not attached too much to being a pop star.” Man, I totally hear that Chris. Being in lockdown made me reevaluate my fame too.
From now on, I’ve decided to stop taking advantage of my impressionable groupies. You know, like Edna and Harriet and Gladys. We’ve had some wild times, and when you’re working at Fox, you got to beat them off with a stick. Anyway, sounds like Chris Martin has just tested positive for terminally narcissistic. And it doesn’t seem, it doesn’t seem like the extra time alone helped Coldplay’s music be any less terrible. Just listen to their latest song.
It actually sounds better than I remembered. Amanda worst band ever?
MILIUS: Yes. I’m being mean to Coldplay. But it is funny, when you hear people that in the entertainment industry who are well off, they’d have no concept of what’s going on in the world.
MILIUS: Right. I mean, I think what he’s being is actually quite honest, like, and I realized this a long time ago, just being from L.A. or whatever. I mean, anybody that meets these people, they actually there is something different about them. There is something wrong with them. Anybody that needs to travel the country or the world into different rooms of strangers giving them applause has problems. And they’re never going to be, you know —
GUTFELD: Totally healed.
GUTFELD: Is that direct at me?
MILIUS: No, no.
TIMPF: I kind of need it.
GUTFELD: I don’t travel at all. I make people come to me. You know, Jimmy, I think that like people that have worked through this entire thing on television, it’s really easy for them to go tell people be patient, wear your mask longer, because they’re still pulling a paycheck. That drives me crazy.
FAILLA: Well, that’s the part that’s the indifference that people have the folks that aren’t in the same position as them. And I think to his point, you know, obviously, Chris Martin should stick to doing what he does best, which is making a list rock and roll for beta males. I think what happened during the lockdown that really scared celebrities, is they realized that the phone has kind of leveled the playing field and that everyone’s a celebrity.
So, nobody is anymore. You know, we don’t keep up with the Kardashians. We are the Kardashians, everybody runs a one man News Network now. And the phone kind of reconfigured society during the lockdown into everyone becoming like a red light window hooker in Amsterdam. Oh, we were no really, though. I don’t mean to bring up a bad memory here.
GUTFELD: No, it was a good memory.
FAILLA: Thank you. Everybody is trying, but everyone’s just trying to attract people to their window show. Hey, go to my window, I’ve got stuff in my window. And he realizes he’s not interesting, and he’s reevaluating celebrity because he doesn’t see himself as a celebrity on the other side of this.
GUTFELD: But at the same time, Corey, he’s kind of like saying, like, you know what, maybe I don’t need this fame because he knows he’s not telling the truth. He knows that it’s temporary. It’s like, you know what, it’s good to take this break from my fans. But you know, if it went away, he would be in fit — well, he isn’t therapy, but even more therapy.
DEANGELIS: Yes, was it the lockdowns that hurt his views, or was it that song that you’ve showed us now? No, but really, I mean, this really highlights the adverse effects that government lockdown policies have had on different groups of people, people who didn’t need to work in person, it wasn’t that big of an issue on average relative to families that needed that were from lower income households and who had to go to in person works and jobs that were that were absolutely shattered.
And there was the same kind of disconnect in the school system as well. I mean, advantaged families were able to get private school, automated immediately, essentially, in March after March 2020. When all the public schools closed, it was the least advantaged Hoover’s stuck it did not have the option in person instruction.
GUTFELD: There’s an old joke about the New York Times headline it would go like earthquake strikes Peru or whatever minorities and women hit hardest. They would always do that at the end. In this case, lockdown, the lockdown occurred and it was minorities who were hit hardest I would put women in there but I think men more men died than women. I don’t know, Kat. You’re a woman. Tell me what you think of that. Incredible brilliant thought I just had.
TIMPF: Look, I thought that what he said was annoying, but not as annoying as his ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow. She said she went off the rails in quarantine. So, I click on the article. It’s that she had two drinks and ate pasta and bread. Yes. When I do that, I’m like, oh, I am growing up like nobody said I could get it together and I showed them look at a good girl I am. It’s not going off the rails.
GUTFELD: Probably the first normal bowel movement she had.
TIMPF: Probably, yes.
GUTFELD: The first time she had bread? My goodness. Also she’s doing a group cruise, talking about like, oh, after epidemic I want to go on a cruise with Gwyneth Paltrow. All right, stay with us more stuff to come.
GUTFELD: Surprise we’re out of time. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Amanda Milius, Corey DeAngelis, Jimmy Failla, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America — America.
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