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“Jimmy Kimmel Live” guest host Dana Carvey dusted off his President Biden and former President Trump impressions this week to imagine what another debate would sound like if the two men ran against each other again in 2024.
The “Saturday Night Live” alum and master impressionist quickly switched between aviator glasses and a blond wig as Kimmel sidekick Guillermo asked questions.
Asked about what makes someone presidential, Carvey as a squinting Biden answered, “You’ve got a big smile, an honest handshake, a couple of corn-fed Secret Service fellas and wave your arms and legs around like ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ style, come on! Then people know you’re still kickin,’ Gotta work together with Kamala Harris – Harrison Ford, pardon me, Henry Ford, excuse me, Machine Gun Kelly, come on!”
As Trump, Carvey told Guillermo “Don’t be rude. You were nice, now you’re not so nice” before going off on a tangent about how he and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un got frozen yogurt together last week at Mar-a-Lago.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” guest host Dana Carvey does a squinting impression of President Biden on the show Tuesday. (Randy Holmes via Getty Images)
“He likes the vanilla and chocolate together,” the mock Trump said of Kim’s swirl yogurt choice.
When answering a question about high gas prices, Carvery as Biden called Guillermo “Gustavo” and “amigo” and claimed that people don’t need gas stations to get gas.
“Gas stations are for selling soda pop and nudie magazines.”
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!” guest host Dana Carvey impersonates former President Trump. (Randy Holmes via Getty Images)
His Trump noted that people say gasoline is “dinosaur poop.”
“That’s what it is, I don’t know. We used to have so much of it – T-Rex poop. You put it in your tank, you drive like you wouldn’t believe.”
His Biden got a little off-track when asked how his second four years in office would differ from his first.
“Come on, number one, the one part. You know the deal, come on, folks. Number two,” he continued to uproarious laughter, “number two is, in fact, the second part. This isn’t rocket science, come on! Number two and a half, more of the second part. Listen real close, folks. More of the second part,” he emphasized slowly. “And number seven, yeah! I know how to do the seventh part. Pardon me, it’s sweet sorrow, pardon in the U.S.A. Miley Cypress, Cypress trees, climate change. Come on, man!” he slightly stuttered.
The fake Trump answered the question by saying he would get a “better wife,” adding, “We’re looking into a lot of candidates!”
Dana Carvey does his monologue on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” (Randy Holmes via Getty Images)
Finally, as Biden, he said if he was reelected every kid would “get a yo-yo and a jar for keeping frogs.”
As Trump, he announced that his new running mate was a venomous cobra he named Hillary. “In conclusion, God bless me!”
Guillermo concluded that both candidates had lost the debate and America is “f—ed!”
Earlier, in his Monday monologue, Carvey did an impression of Biden as a “sleepy, sweet grandpa” president, which he said is what people wanted after Trump.
“Because when he first came out, he was like a soothing grandpa offering you a butterscotch from his coin purse,” the comedian told the audience.
“He was always repeating this story: ‘I grew up in Scranton, Pennsylvania,'” he said, impersonating Biden, taking off his glasses and squinting his eyes. “My dad lost his job! No joke, I’m not kidding around here!”
Carvey noted that no one would think that was a joke.
He argued that after a couple of years in office, Biden has gotten a little “feistier.”
“He kind of whispers, then he yells. I think it’s a wonderful move,” he told the audience.
The “Wayne’s World” star first unveiled the spot-on Biden impression when he was a guest on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” last year.