Billie Eilish is opening up about how her life and career have changed since skyrocketing to fame.
Every year since 2016, the 19-year-old star has sat down with Vanity Fair for the same interview, answering the same series of questions and reacting to her previous answers.
In her latest version of the discussion, the star was once again asked about whether or not she feels pressure.
“I feel a lot of pressure, but I would also say that back then [in the earlier years of her career], I was more loved,” said the singer. “I was pretty overall loved, I would say, to be honest. I was scared because I wanted to keep that love.”
Billie Eilish said that ‘a ton of people hate’ her these days. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
Since then, things have changed, as has her attitude.
“Now, like tons of people hate me so I’m not worried anymore,” Eilish explained. “I’m like, ‘Oh, OK, well, if you like me, you like me, if you don’t, you don’t.'”
Her past answers to the question were also highlighted during the video interview.
“Yep, but I don’t f—ing care,” she said previously. “I really don’t care. It’s the kind of pressure, like it hits me, and then I don’t care.”
Eilish said she’s ‘not worried’ about pressure anymore. (Photo by Nicholas Hunt/WireImage via Getty Images)
Present-day Eilish admitted that she was “lying” during her previous answers, but did not elaborate on her feels about pressure at the time.
After watching another answer from the past in which the “Happier Than Ever” musician implied she didn’t feel pressure intensely, she said: “This is just me trying to convince myself that I didn’t care.”
“Every single one,” she insisted. “Every single one. I know that I cared and I was just literally coming up with some stupid quote that would make me pretend that I didn’t care.”
Eilish said that she was ‘lying’ in the past when she said she didn’t care about the pressures she was facing. (Photo by Jim Dyson/Redferns)
She added that she used to be “filled with these inspirational quotes” that she “didn’t even agree with most of the time.”
“Every time I see an interview from that period when I was 16, I’m like [blows raspberry],” she admitted. “Everything I said was so stupid. Not even stupid, it just was not what I was actually thinking.”
The star explained that at the time, she was thinking, “I’m overwhelmed. I hate this. Everybody expects something from me, I don’t have anything to give them. I f—king suck. My jewelry is cool. I want tattoos. I want a car.”
In the Vanity Fair piece, Eilish also addressed her British Vogue cover, which went viral.
“I did that Vogue cover and it was a genre that we were doing the shoot for,” she said of the shoot, which featured the star in lingerie. “It was an old kind of Hollywood lingerie kind of classic thing. And it was supposed to be a specific aesthetic for a photoshoot and then it was like ‘Billie Eilish’s new style’ and people kept being like ‘Wow, her new style it’s so much better than the old style.’ Or like, ‘Wow, I wish that we could have her old style back, I’m so sad that she’s just changed into this.'”
Eilish continued: “It was so weird because I was like, it’s not a new style, it’s one thing I wore and then I’m gonna wear this another day and then I’m gonna do this. Literally the thing that I’ve been preaching about since I first started is wear what you want. Dress how you want, act how you want, talk how you want, be how you want. That’s all I’ve ever said. It’s just being open to new things and not letting people ruin it for you.”